Claude and Clint Eastwood’s Excellent Adventure

Clint Eastwood and Claude were held captive in a little shack back in the Louisiana bayou. They escaped their bonds and Clint found a shotgun but there was no weapon for Claude. Two guards were outside hunkered down behind another little shack facing the shack Claude and Clint were in. While Clint covered from the shack they had been held captive in, Claude maneuvered around behind the two guards.

Claude got behind one guard and tried to break his neck but the guard was like the man with no neck so it didn’t work. To make the kill, Claude had to twist the guard’s head completely around in a circle and tear it off. At the same time, Clint took out the other guard with the shotgun and then held his position. The twisted off guard’s gun couldn’t be found so Claude took his gun belt and holster to use as a whip‑like impact weapon.

Two more guards approached but didn’t see Claude at the shack. The guards were Ice-T and Paul Blart, Mall Cop. Claude moved around to the front of the shack and waited in ambush. When Ice-T rounded the corner, Claude nailed him with the gun belt and holster and then closed to disarm him. After disarming him, Claude shot Ice-T twice in a clinch, which caused Ice-T to back up. Then Claude shot Blart several times. His shots were accurate and his cadence about one-half second per shot. Claude congratulated himself about keeping his cool and maintaining his accuracy and cadence. Those rounds put Blart down and hors de combat.

Ice-T had backed up but was still on his feet. Clint wasn’t doing anything so Claude shot Ice-T several more times. As Claude then retreated, Ice-T followed him. The pace was slow and the path was more or less a circle. While Ice-T followed, the pistol morphed into an Uzi submachinegun with the stock folded.




Claude then leaped up high into the air like a kung fu artist in a Chinese action film. As he came down, he smashed the butt of the Uzi’s grip onto the top of Ice-T’s head. Ice-T then fell down and Clint stepped out of the shack.


Then Claude woke up from his dream. It took place between 7:15 am and 7:40 am this morning.

8 responses

  1. Didn’t Clint have Clyde along to help out?

  2. Hummmmmmm I think finishing the 1st season of True Detective last night might have played a part in this…..Heeee!

  3. Clint is getting a little long in the tooth for these types of adventures. Next time, maybe find a younger side kick. I am disappointed that Blart went to the dark side. That aside, have you spoken to your councilor about this? Or, maybe lay off the Ambien for a while. Personally, I would throw in a slinky “Bond” girl in there somewhere.

  4. I thought I had crazy dreams! Hope you feel better soon!

  5. Hi Claude,
    Unlike anything I’ve ever read by you. Well done and amusing!

  6. Go ahead. Make my Day

  7. Awesome dream. I live in Louisiana and that could happen if one eats the wrong mushrooms, and I thought my vivid dreams of Shakirah were cool.

  8. Now to check and read Clint Eastwood’s version. LOL

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